Saturday, April 26, 2014

Lust vs. Love by Cal Haupt

In society the terms Lust and love are sometimes confused as being the same thing.  Lust is a personal inclination or longing with little basis for the future.  Love is the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.

The two are confused; however, have very different meanings.  The one most important difference in the terms is longevity.  Lust never lasts; however, Love survives the test of time because it is built on more than shallow cues or flash.

You might wonder why a financial expert would write about Lust and Love?

The reason is simple.  Every day I see mortgage professionals and consumers making life decisions based on Lust rather than Love.

Both mortgage professionals and consumers should make choices based on their fit versus an artificial inclination built on a sales pitch, fancy dinner, etc. and look deeper to the core of a long term fit.  Both mortgage professionals and consumers tend to make decisions about where they work or get important financial products to support their family based cues that are not aligned with core need or sustainability.  Love has a higher duty of care in the selection process.

Although you may Lust, always look deeper to find a company that truly puts its mortgage professionals first and its clients in the product that fits them the best.  The best choice may not have the bling but it will be there when the going gets tough.  There is a reason family gathers in tough times and everyone is your buddy during good times.  A key distinction between Lust and Love.

When I was about 5 years old in a small southern town, my two best friends at the time, the Tyson brothers, were smitten by the Sear’s Screamer Bicycle and were promised one for Christmas.  Needless to say, their enthusiasm and Lust transferred to my subconscious quickly.  As a result, I only had one item on my letter to Santa that year and dropped the appropriate hints to my parents to ensure success.  After all, everyone in my world "at that time my world was three houses in either direction due to Mother Law" wanted a Sears Screamer, it was so flashy, and I want to fit in with me best friends.
Sears Screamer (Left) Schwinn Apple Krate (Right)

On Christmas morning a woke up to the laughter of the Tysons riding their shiny new Sears Screamers in front my bedroom window.  I could not wait to run into the den to get mine.  As I slid into the den, my world ended as some red bicycle was sitting near the tree in place of my dream bike.  I yelled, how could you do this to me…..   I am ruined…. Etc.  Obviously my parents looked at me in disbelief.  Since I would not come out of the house, the Tysons came to my house around noon wondering why I was not riding with them.

I hung my head in shame and explained what happened to me that morning.  As good friends do, they rubbed in the fact their bikes where Sears Screamers and I just had to settle for what I got.  Peer pressure and the “green eyed monster affect” were in full force.

My mother and father tried to explain why I got a Schwinn Apple Krate over the Sears bike.  Due to Love, they only had concern for my well being and not social pressures.  Better quality, shock absorbers, better gears, reputation of the manufacturer etc.  They were providing me with the quality over fad speech and all I heard was blah blah blah due to the pre-programmed peer pressure already in place.  After all, I was 5.  How could they know more than me and the Tysons.

I came to grips with my fate and reluctantly headed out Christmas afternoon to ride my new bicycle.

During the next six months, I noticed my bike was a little faster and handled better than the Tyson’s Screamer.  I noticed they stopped more for repairs and after about seven months their bikes were rusting leaned against their house.  My Apple Krate retained it’s just like new qualities and became my steed for neighborhood adventures.

I rode that bike for another 6 years and then used the frame for a motocross jumping bike for another 3 years.  The best bike I ever had and I loved that bike due to the unbiased benevolent concern my parents had for my well being.  The lust for a Sears Screamer faded in short order as quality and fit came into focus.  Due to Love my needs were met with the best fit and the Lust I had for that in vogue shiny bike faded faster than the screamer’s paint job. 

I have told this story to my sales teams for as long as I remember.  In 2000, my Senior Officers at Southeast Mortgage presented me with another chance at childhood.  My own Schwinn Orange Krate Bicycle. 
Ride to Live
They could not find an Apple Krate; however, it was the best most thoughtful gift a person could get from friends.
Cal Haupt
Chief Executive Officer
Southeast Mortgage of Georgia, Inc.

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